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The Need for Speed

Another adventure begins. I'll be heading out for Milwaukee, Wisconsin -- a 5,000-mile trip.

Okay, normally it'd be an 800-mile ride. But, you see, I'm taking another shortcut. I'll start off going to Des Moines, Iowa (and please, it's pronounced like "De Moyne" -- don't do the whole "s" thing), for the Iowa State Fair.

Then I'll turn left and visit a few National Parks in southern Colorado and Utah and eastern Nevada.

Then comes the "speed" part -- a stop at the Bonneville Salt Flats for the annual "Speed Week" competitions. With luck, I may see some new records set!

Only after that will I head toward Milwaukee, stopping at a few more parks and attractions - and a brief stop in Waseca - along the way.

So, "Why Milwaukee?" Two reasons. First, the Harley Owner's Group celebrates its 25th Anniversary this year. Second, the Harley-Davidson company celebrates their 105th Anniversary at the same time. Plus, the new Harley-Davidson museum is now open, and I have reserved tickets to visit the shrine. In all, it'll be a four-day event where I'll hopefully meet up with many of my friends from the Montgomery HOG chapter.

Stay tuned ... I'll post updates whenever I can!

Wednesday, August 13
Alabama toward Iowa
(Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois, and Missouri)


My goal for the day was to get to a familiar campground just west of St. Louis. Been there before, and liked it. And I made it there successfully, I should add.

I changed my route several times on the way up. Once to check out (in more detail) a strange "castle tower" Charlie, my best buddy, and I have seen numerous times on our many trips to Murfreesboro, Tennessee. This strange turret sits atop a hill along the road somewhere south of Nashville. We've always been on a schedule to get to Murfreesboro, and never had a chance to stop. So THIS time, I made a special trip to investigate further.

Charlie, it ain't nothin' to write home about. What we saw from the highway is all there is to see. The rest is hidden by a large wooded lot, fenced off as private property. From what I could tell from outside the locked gates, someone actually lives there! And the address -- it's on "New Castle Road." How fitting.

Otherwise, it was a fairly uneventful day of riding. Bike problem #1 -- the knob that controls my cruise control fell off somewhere in Northern Alabama. It left a brass pin sticking out of the handlebar, so I still have control. Otherwise, without cruise control, hell, I'd have turned around and gone home!

Other glitch -- the credit card I have from BP quit working. At the third station where it was refused, I went in and talked to the clerk . (I know, it's like talking to a dog about physics, but I had to try.) She said it looked like the BP company had put a "security lock" on it, thinking maybe someone had stolen the card and was using it on the road. Grrr. I'll call BP and get that fixed. All the traveling I've done in the past few years with that card and never a problem. Why now? Lucky, I guess. Maybe this is an omen that I'll win the lottery, too.

I got to the campground right at dusk. No problem, though, as I was familiar with the grounds and the check-in process. THIS time I was greeted with the lovely serenade of locusts -- or cicada. While checking in with the host, he gave me a lesson on the singing bugs. Apparently these were Cicadas; locusts being an entirely different animal. News to me, but what do I know. My little electronic dictionary says they're the same species; yet, who am I to argue with my host. In any event, I had BOTH around (and on) my tent.

I had a little trouble getting to sleep, though. So I started to count the cicada as I heard their songs:

1 Cicada.
2 Cicada.
3 Cicada.
.....
I gave up when I counted about a bazillion! Glad I brought ear plugs!

Thursday, August 14
Missouri to Iowa

I stuck entirely to back roads all the way up from the campgrounds -- 5 hours without seeing an Interstate. Made for an interesting (though slow) ride. However, I DID encounter a Taco John's!!! Needless to say, I Stopped!

Encountered a little light rain - just enough to warrant breaking out the rain gear, but not enough to actually get it wet.

(NOTE TO SELF: Remember to make sure your rain gear is DRY before packing it up again next time. Otherwise, the red outer covering turns black and the white inner side turns green -- and fuzzy. Not pleasant. Duh.)

Saw a heartwarming patriotic display in Wellsville, Missouri. A small park in the middle of town FILLED with American Flags, marked with signs to "Remember our Honored Veterans," and with small signs heralding all their military members past and present. Pretty cool -- check the photo album.

Made it to my campsite for the next two nights, just north of Des Moines. It's a campground built by the Corps of Engineers -- looming over me to the north is an earthen dam and reservoir, and dropping off behind me is the spillway. I'm hoping it won't rain TOO much while I'm here!

Tomorrow I'll head into town to take in the Iowa State Fair. It's been more than 40 years since I've been there, so this should be fun.

Friday, August 15
Iowa State Fair

I guess you could say I had a perfectly "fair day." Bad, I know. I got to thinking about the Iowa State Fair, and figured it must've been something like 15 years since I've been to one. So it was about time. And this year -- Iowa's 154th annual fair (with two years "off" during World War II -- just to have full disclosure).

Overall, I had a great time. I already had a good idea of SOME of the things I wanted to do and see when I got there, so that sorta helped plan my day. However, nothing can prepare you for the Iowa State Fair -- except for the Iowa State Fair. There are some big state fairs. And there are some huge state fairs. Then, on top of them all, there's Iowa's. Wow.

It's huge in size - about the size of the Magic Kingdom at Disney World, I think. At least that's what my feet said about it. And crowds? More people-per-square-yard than I've ever seen at Disney parks. And this was only Friday! I'd hate to see tomorrow and Sunday, the end of the fair. And all somewhat "typical" upper-Midwest-type folks -- if you know what that means. Down-to-earth, mostly farming-related, considerate, out to have a good time, and maybe a bit tubby.

But they had good reason to be tubby. The food. The food at the Iowa fair is awesome. And more types and styles than you can shake a corn dog stick at. And you can't walk more than a few steps without seeing something interesting to eat or drink.

And in many cases, there are free samples offered by vendors, organizations, associations, or other businesses. One group sponsored a buttered-corn-on-the-cob feast -- all for free. Needless to say, the crowd around their tables was huge -- looked like feeding time in the Swine Barn!

One thing's for sure, I lost NO weight at the fair! Actually, I didn't eat that many things -- but when they offer up food at the Iowa State Fair, be prepared. The portions are monstrous. You could, for example, get a plate full of "grater fries" -- looks like potato chips all strung together. A paper plate -- heaped about a foot high! Yes, awesome.

I had several "shows" on my to-do list for the fair. One was an interesting event called the "Husband Calling Contest." I'm sure it was fun and interesting, but I didn't quite make it that far. I got to the contest venue on time; but they started off with a "special event" - a "Mom Calling Contest." I quickly learned that whenever there's something interesting happening, they let the kids go first. So the first contest had about 25 kids each taking the microphone (with much-too-loud PA system) and SCREAM for their moms. (One at a time, of course.) That was annoying enough in itself. And it only took about 20 minutes. But then they brought all the kids up on stage and asked each one to introduce themselves by name, age, and where they lived.

First kid.
Emcee; "Number one, you go first."
Kid: (silence)
Emcee: Number one, introduce yourself.
Kid: (silence again)
Emcee: Number one, what's your name.
Kid: [mumbled softly]
Emcee: What was that?
Kid: Johnny
Emcee: Johnny what?
Kid: Johnny, sir.
Emcee: No, Johnny, what's your LAST name
Kid: Emmerson
Emcee: Okay, Johnny. And.....
Kid: what?
Emcee: And how old are you?
Kid: five
Emcee: And where are you from?
Kid: [mumble, garble]
Emcee: Where?
Kid: Clinton
Emcee: Okay, great. Thank you. You can step back now.

And knowing they had some 24 other runts to go, I gave up and left. The Husband Calling Contest was next, I'm sure, but I just couldn't stand the wait.

There was also a big talent contest; an annual event that's extremely popular here. Again, the "Sprout Division" went first. Little tykes pretending to dance, do gymnastics (they fall down a lot easier when they're young, you know), and "singing" (Webster's turning over in his grave for me using that word to describe what I heard). It was painful, but I sat through it. Then the "Senior Division" came up -- meaning those folks over 15. (Seniors? Geez, what am I then?

I also took in one of the most amazing demonstrations I've ever seen -- a "hypnotist show." This guy is a clinical hypnotherapist who works his medical business three months a year and travels the other 9 doing shows all over the country. He starts his show by explaining the myths about hypnosis, and explains what he's going to do and why it works. After about 30 minutes of educational and entertaining monologue, he randomly picked about 30 people to put on the stage. He gave them instructions, played music, "did his thing," and most of the group essentially went right to sleep. As he predicted, some didn't -- he'd warned everyone that hypnosis does NOT work on everyone. So those folks left the stage.

Then he set about giving the remaining folks various suggestions, having them sit up or stand up and with a wave of his hand or a single word would put them back to sleep, .... and on and on. It was amazing -- and hysterical.

He gave one gal a suggestion that any time he rubbed his forehead, her belly button would fly off and roll across the stage. And SHE, of course, would be compelled to get up and go get it and put it back on. He did. She did. Funny as hell. Repeated several times.

Then once, she got up and looked around, and walked back to him and said, "I can't find it!" He says, "Can't find WHAT?" "My belly button. It fell off!" He put his arm around her and turned her and said, "Look... Look over here. Here it is," as he pointed elsewhere on the stage. They walked over to it together. And JUST as they got to it, he made a kicking motion with his foot, "Whoooop" he said. And he pointed off into the audience. He said, "There it is. Out there. You go get it." And she did, wandering through the audience looking around until she found it. When she finally DID find it, she lifted up her shirt and stuffed her belly button back on. What a great show. "Ron Diamond" is the guy's name.

I also had a good time going through some of the various buildings. 4-H exhibits and projects, horse barn, cow barn, swine barn, sheep and goat barn, rabbit and poultry barn (which had no poultry, but a LOT of rabbits, horticulture building (Kim, there's a special photo in the album just for you!), contest pavilions, model train exhibit building, arts and crafts, animal learning center, and more. If you couldn't find something of interest at this place, you're obviously not a Yankee.

Just east of the main fairgrounds is an equally large area for campers -- meaning "RV'ers". It's essentially a huge town in itself! And all the camping sites are booked WAY in advance -- it's a really big deal.

One thing that surprised me was the number of people who camped without RVs -- but still brought along all the "necessities."

They brought things like beds (regular mattress types), sleeping bags and cots, tables (some complete with table cloths) and chairs, televisions, small refrigerators, microwaves, coffee pots, and lots of other shit. (I mean, "manure.") You see, these were folks who stayed in stalls in the Swine Barn! Are you serious??? I also noticed folks in the horse barn who did the same thing -- had reserved extra stalls for themselves. Oddly enough, exhibitors in the Rabbit Barn did NOT stay in cages next to their critters.

In all, they had tons of food, lots of shows and concerts going on at three different stages virtually all day and the grandstand at night, probably 20-25 special demonstrations and classes at ANY time of the day (like learning how to arrange flowers or give CPR), and street performers popping up at random. Add in all the equipment on display (almost ALL was farm-related, as you might imagine), and there was always something new to see.

There was also an area where they had some OLD equipment. I mean, OLD! Some were gasoline engines that truly demonstrated the use of "fly wheels." They'd fire about once every 12-14 revolutions -- they fly wheel kept the machinery running in between. And a special photo in the album is just for Steve (you'll know!).

While walking around, I was drawn to about six different lovely mid-western ladies. I did my best, too. I offered them the opportunity to ride thousands of miles across the country on the back of a thundering, rumbling, vibrating Harley. To ride through rain, dust, bugs, and probably sand storms. To burn up during the day and freeze at night. To stop only when gasoline was needed ("Don't drink too much!"). Stop for food only once a day. And at the end of every day, sleep on the ground inside a tiny tent that smelled funny.

I don't understand it, though. Of the six that I approached, five turned me down outright. But I had hope when I DID have one "taker." A gal named Shea, from Council Bluffs, said it sounded like FUN. So I was truly excited. Then she asked who'd she be riding with. When I said it was ME, of course ..... well, it's a good thing I like riding alone anyway.

A long day. Got back to the campground at 11:30. Showered, climbed into an extremely wet tent (lots of condensation due to the humidity and change of temperature at night), and slept like a rock.

Okay, two more food pictures.

Now you can see why I'm not losing much weight on this trip!

Saturday, August 16
Iowa and Nebraska

Got off to a later start than I'd hoped for, so didn't get to work on my blog at all. Weather was great, as I headed west.

My first stop was over in Council Bluffs. (No, I didn't bother to look up Shea -- she made her preferences quite clear.) There's an old jail there that's pretty unique. It's called a Squirrel Cage Jail!

The one-of-a-kind jail was built in 1885 and was used until 1969. Of 18 revolving jails ever built, this was the only three-story jail. It has three floors of revolving pie-shaped cells inside a cage. This type of jail was created to allow one jailer to control a large jailed population with minimum personal contact.

Only 3 other revolving jails remain: one in Gallatin, Missouri, and one in Crawfordsville, Indiana.

Then I headed down the road through Omaha, and to the Strategic Air Command's Air and Space Museum. It was pretty cool, and had some aircraft there that you just don't see at every other museum. Not as nice as the Air Force Museum in Dayton, Ohio, but still pretty nice.

Of course, SAC had one of the old SR-71 aircraft displayed in the lobby, so I was happy. Love that plane. Wish it was still in service.

And about 80 miles further down the road was The Great Platte River Road Archway. It's an interesting museum documenting the movement of "America" across the plains to the west. This monstrous structure was build alongside the Interstate; and when finished, it was MOVED to its current position, OVER the Interstate.

With all this activity, I was tired. So I found a campground about half-way across Nebraska and settled in early for the night. Ah, rest. Tomorrow, I'll try to find a McDonald's with WiFi so I can get this stuff updated!

Sunday, August 17
Nebraska into Colorado

Well, this was a different kind of day! I found a McDonald's with WiFi within 10 miles of the campground this morning, so I got the blog updated. Then I checked the weather radar for the route I'd planned. (Planned, being the operative word -- I changed it so much today, it wasn't even similar!) The weather called for one streak of light rain just after I crossed into Colorado.

I didn't quite make it to Colorado before the rain hit. Fortunately, I found a place to pull off and get my rain gear on before I got too wet. (That's unusual for me -- I usually end up soaked before I get pulled over.) From there to Denver, I hit rain three times, completely drying out between each storm -- but just barely.

As I rode through Denver, one small company along the Interstate caught my eye. Odd name. The "Maverick Stimulation Company." Never heard of that before, but they must be really, really good at what they do -- I got an erection just riding past the place.

I had planned to ride to the top of Mt. Evans outside of Denver -- I love the road; twisty, challenging, beautiful, and is the highest paved road in North America. But with the weather so strange and the hour getting late, I changed my route.

From Denver south through Colorado Springs it was one rain storm after another; again, with just enough dry roads between each one to almost get dry. Then I turned off and started across the Rockies on some back roads I'd NOT charted or planned to travel. My gas light came on as I was leaving Colorado Springs, but I was sure I'd find gas within a few miles, as there was so much "civilization" in the area.

Yes, you guessed it. NO gas for miles and miles. I think I went 50-55 miles on that last gallon of gas. I think the altitude helped. But I did finally find gas before I ran out completely.

My first "sight-seeing" stop of the day (and this was at almost 5 p.m.!) was the Royal Gorge Bridge. Near Canon City, Colorado, it's the world's highest suspension bridge. It spans a massive granite gorge 1,053 feet above the Arkansas River. You'll have to take a look at the photos in the album to appreciate this engineering feat. The bridge is HUGE - especially when you consider where it's located -- out in the middle of almost-nothing.

This little "park" also boasts having the world's longest single-span Aerial Tram as well as the world's steepest Incline Railway (yes, even steeper than the one outside Chattanooga). Plus lots of other things to do and see. However, there's a hefty admission (I think it was $20), so I passed it up. Besides, I had places to go, things to do.

So I headed off for my next stop -- a place I found in RoadsideAmerica (oddities along the highways). It's the UFO Lookout Tower, and is located somewhere in Colorado; truly out in the middle of nothingness -- all you can see for 30 miles in any direction is flat scrub land. It was all I'd hoped for, and less. Got a picture. Then I was off in search of a campground. And since I'd deviated so far from my planned route, it was just "winging it."

Fortunately, the Great Sand Dunes National Park was nearby -- again, somewhere in Colorado, though I'm not too sure just where the heck I am. I got here about 9:30 p.m. in the dark; but like so many other sophisticated parks, they have a self-check-in process. Found what I think is a GREAT campsite -- though I'll know more when I wake up in the morning. I think it directly overlooks the sand dunes. Too dark to tell. It could be a landfill, too, for all I can tell. If it's nice, I'll take pictures and add them to the blog tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I've got everything set up in the tent -- except a heater, which I wish I had. Temperature is to go to about 40 tonight. The whole ride today was at temperatures of 60 or below; either the temperatures were falling because of the storms or they were falling because I was getting higher into the mountains. So I couldn't win. I am, however, very glad I brought along my heated gear! Made the day tolerable.

Monday, August 18
Across Colorado

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears; Oh my!

Well, no tigers, but signs around the campground warned of mountain lions and black bears, both in abundance in the area. "Please don't feed the animals..." I hope the critters don't eat PEOPLE! I imagine that at 8,300 feet, life is different in many ways.

And my campsite ... I was right. A great site. If I do say so myself (and, let's face it, nobody else would say this), I selected -- in the dark -- probably the best campsite in the park. Not only was it flat and soft with the motorcycle just 4 feet away, but when I opened up my front "door" this morning, there laid the Great Sand Dunes right in front of me. Nothing between me and them -- although there were campsites across the road from me all up and down the length of the campground, none were directly across from mine. How cool is that. Check out my early morning view in the photo album.

Overall, the weather was perfect today. The temperatures stayed at between 50-60 degrees all day -- right up until about 5:30 this afternoon. I guess it's the geography of where I was, but this afternoon I pulled into Durango, and the temperature hopped up to 85. But within 20 minutes, I'd stopped and put my heated gear back on. Never a dull moment.

My next stop was hours and hours away -- up near Gunnison, Colorado. On the way, I traveled what were obviously the "roads less traveled." At times, I'd go 20-30 minutes without seeing another person. But the scenery -- absolutely stunning. (And perfect weather didn't hurt.) I remember reading an article in AARP's magazine on why it's so great to be over 50: It said, "Before I turned 50, I was always pushing to do more. Now I'm able to step back mentally and just look around. Was all this beauty here all along?" I kept thinking about that as I rounded corners to see new mountains, rivers, savannahs, lakes, ... you name it.

It took just over 5 hours of driving before I found a McDonald's -- the only one within 100 miles of my route, too. Fortunately, they had WiFi, so I got my blog updated and my tummy filled at the same stop.

Then I headed up the road to the Morrow Point Dam. I'd driven right past in on my last trip through Colorado, not even knowing it was there. But I found out about it on the Internet, and decided it was worth a 4-mile side-trip. It was. From engineeringsights.org: "Morrow Point Dam, 469 feet high, is reputed to be the first double-curvature, thin-arch concrete dam in the U.S. Described as an "engineer's dream," it is just 12 feet thick at its crest and 52 feet thick at its base. Other unusual features include an overhang on the downstream face, an undercut on the upstream face, and four large openings near the top of the dam for a spillway. ... The underground power plant has a total generating capacity of 120,000 kilowatts."

It was pretty amazing, since you could walk almost right up to the base of the dam where the water flowed out of the generators. Cool pictures, of course. And right beside it was a remaining narrow-gauge railway train (engine, car and caboose) left over from, believe it or not, "before my time." Honest. The mining trains used to go right through this area, and this one sits on the remains of an old trestle. Much of the rest of the railway tracks were either torn up for highways in one direction, or are now submerged under the reservoir in the other.

From there, I headed west so I could ride "The Million Dollar Highway." Everyone's told me it was a "must ride," and I can see why. Beautiful scenery, twisty road (just recently repaved, too), cool, and not too heavily traveled. Disconcerting: No guardrails along the roadway, and in some cases it was absolutely straight down right from the edge of the pavement. No kidding. Sheer vertical cliff -- and some of that new pavement actually fell off in several places! And if it's true that when riding a motorcycle you "go where you look," you didn't want to look that way!

Lots of interesting sights along the highway -- a few are in the photo album. Abandoned mines of all types almost every mile. A cascading river along the highway that defies description -- and probably defies photography. Imagine a brilliant orange river pounding down through orange-tinged rocks, cutting their way through what's left of white snow banks. Made me strangely hungry for orange ice cream.

From engineeringsights.org: "The name "Million Dollar Highway" applies to the stretch of the San Juan Skyway that follows the original roadbed of the toll road built in 1882-84 by Otto Mears. Some say the "million dollar" label refers to the cost of rebuilding the road from 1921-24, while others say it's the value of the gold mine tailings in the roadbed."

Finally, it was on to my next stop, the Mesa Verde National Park. Since it was getting late again, I figured I'd camp here for the night. Much more expensive here than at the Great Sand Dunes NP (it was only $7 there -- $14 here); but then again, I have a shower here....not that I need one!

As I was setting up my tent, two things happened. First, a park employee came by asking if I had any food. If I did, he'd take it from me and store it up at the office. He said the park ONLY does this for motorcyclists, since we don't have anyplace to store food safely. And with the wildlife around here -- especially the black bears, bobcats, mountain lions, and other assorted critters -- they took serious measures to keep food protected from the animals. I also learned that leaving food outside (in a cooler, on a table, or even hung up in a tree like the Boy Scouts teach you), the park Rangers will; a) confiscate it, and b) fine you $75. Fortunately, I don't carry any food.

Second, while talking with this guy, I noticed a doe, a deer, a female deer (can't you just hear the music?) eating leaves from a tree about 50 feet up the road. He glanced at it, shrugged, and said, "Yeah, there's a LOT of 'em here." As I was setting up my tent, I moved my foot sideways in the gravel and made a bit of noise. The doe's ears perked up and she looked at me, then went back to eating. I assumed I wasn't much of a threat. But I was way off on how I thought the deer behaved. She (and the four others that joined her shortly) were SO unafraid of humans, that people would walk by within 10-15 feet of them, and cars would drive by within a foot of them -- and even stop next to them. Scarcely a glance. Later this evening after it got dark, two walked across in front of me about 5 feet away. I talked to 'em. They stopped, looked at me, then (as do most humans) casually ignored me and walked on. Amazing.

One thing Mesa Verde prides itself on is the lack of "light pollution." While folks DO have lights around their camp sites, there's almost NO artificial lighting in the park at night. It's dark. Pitch black dark. And it sits so high (the campground is just over 8,000 feet) that the air is clear. The result, those "billions and billions of stars" (says Carl Segan) are brilliant. I'm camping without the rain cover tonight, so I'll lay and star-gaze a while.

Tomorrow? After I spend some time looking around Mesa Verde NP, I'll head elsewhere in Southwestern Colorado. I'll have to check my maps.

Oh, I forgot to mention. I stopped at a Taco John's for breakfast a couple days ago. I wanted to try one of their "Potato Ole' Scramblers" breakfasts. I ordered a small one. The gal screwed it up and gave me a large. It was a LOT to eat, but OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH, are they good!

Tuesday, August 19
Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah

Well, today's weather was a departure from the "normal" for this trip. At one time, the temperature got all the way down to 80. Generally speaking, it was 95-105 all day. Not my idea of great riding weather. However, planning ahead, I did order a "hydration cooling vest" about 3 weeks before I left -- get it wet, put it on, and the evaporation keeps you cool! Only problem -- the company I ordered it from hadn't even shipped it by the time I left home. But NEXT time......

I started the day touring a small part of Mesa Verde National Park. Trust me, you need more than one day to see everything here. It's a 40-mile drive from one end of the park to the other! And side roads, pull-offs, exhibits, unique sights, and other attractions abound. Still, I got to see a lot of the park's features -- cliffs and interesting geological formations, plus a lot of the adobe structures (both on flat land and the "cave dwelling sites) throughout the park. Very interesting.

Next I headed to the extreme southwest corner of Colorado -- to a place y'all have heard about; Four Corners Monument. The only place in the US were four states touch. So, I managed to position myself (as everybody does) so I was in five states at once: in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah. Five states? Well, yes. You all know I'm always in the state of confusion, so I counted that as the fifth.

Then I headed out toward The Valley of the Gods in southeastern Utah. I've heard it's a magnificent place. Located almost next door to Monument Valley, I pretty much knew what to expect. Everything except the 17-mile road that makes up the Valley of the Gods. It's a 17-mile road that, if you were to call it "a gravel road," you'd be overly polite. Deep gravel in places, boulders in others, dirt and dust most everywhere else. And in between all those ingredients -- holes. It just so happens that a car stopped to chat with me; a husband and wife from New Jersey who'd been on the road since January. They gave me an overview of the 17-mile stretch -- they were "speeding" along at 15 mph most of the time, and it was still very uncomfortable. The guy, a former biker, said he wouldn't even try it on a bike; but if I did, I'd enjoy the scenery.

Well, being as behind in my "planned route" as I already was, I decided to skip the tooth-rattling road and head on to Monument Valley.

I've been here before, and love the area. The buttes are so immense and unique, you can't not stand in awe. The last time I was here, I found the spot where they filmed the final scene from the movie "Electraglide in Blue." I took pictures, of course. The only thing missing was the body (of the police officer, or anyone else for that matter) sitting in the middle of the highway. So THIS time, I decided I'd go back and get that picture, substituting ME for the officer. Despite some unusually heavy traffic -- like a car almost every minute -- I managed to get the shot off. I'll probably add it to the album.

You know, I REALLY should have left home a week earlier. There were SO many places on my planned route that I wanted to see, and I've already been skipping past them like they were dead skunks. I'd planned to be in Bonneville tomorrow (Wednesday), but I'll be lucky if I'm out of southern Utah by then. But that's okay. there's a little flexibility built into my schedule. The first "appointment" I have to meet is to be in Waseca, Minnesota, by Tuesday, the 26th....and even that's flexible. Still, I've got a lot on my list that will require another trip out here. Darn.

I headed north toward Moab (that name is probably familiar to anyone who's been out this way), and a planned stop at Arches National Park. Again, since it was getting late in the day, I decided to camp there for the night. However (and this is a first for me), I got there and they didn't have room for me -- not even an empty spot of dirt for a tiny tent! So I headed off down a road that New Jersey couple told me about, and quickly found a campground run by the Bureau of Land Management (BLM, as I'll be staying on their grounds again this trip). The main reason I picked this spot -- it's in the shade. In fact, the whole campground (all 18 sites) sits on the edge of the Colorado River, and in the afternoon shadow of a cliff it carved over the hundreds of centuries -- probably 600 feet high, or more. So while it's still hot, at least it's a "non-sunny hot."

As I was sitting here working on this text and the photos, a guy came up and struck up a conversation. Nothing strange about that in campgrounds, I've learned. But this one ended strangely. He asked if I'd do him a favor..... Would I "split" my campsite with him and let him share the space. The campground is now full (all 18 spots), and he needed a place to bed down. And the site I took is big enough for TWO RVs; my bike and tent look terribly out of place. So I said, Sure. This kid is from Montana, heading down to Taos, New Mexico. Long hair tied in a pony tail, scruffy goatee and mustache, shorts and sanders, and a multi-colored bead necklace. Hell, he's a damn peace-loving, flower-child, beatnik hippy freak from the 60s! I hope he doesn't mix up bombs in the back of his car. And to complete the already all-too-stereotypical image, on top of his Subaru he has a bicycle, one of the first things he unloaded was his guitar, and his "abode" for the night is a blanket laid out on the ground. Strange.

I'm heading into Moab in a bit to grab some food and water. Hopefully the McD's there will have WiFi so I can update everything. If not, the next McD's is some 90 miles away. And I just know y'all can't wait for these updates!

NOTE: Sorry, but it took me two dats to find a WiFi signal anywhere, and I haven't seen a McDonalds in all that time, either. But I AM able to update from the National Park I'm in now -- amazing as that seems.

Wednesday, August 20
Utah

Well, I got out of that dusty campground. Yippee. The ground was "sand" -- but it was SO fine, it was like flour. Had there been any wind at all, it'd have filled my tent right through the fine-screened windows. Thankfully, it was calm.

Went to a McDonald's last night, and I had a good feeling about the place. Very new, very large (two dining rooms!), with video rentals, an ATM, and other uncommon ammenities. And I did get a WiFi signal, but not from them -- probably a nearby business. Didn't work well, though, and couldn't update my stuff. Sorry again.

My first stop was where I left off last night -- at Arches National Park. What can I say about that place. Awesome. Magnificent sandstone arches all over the place. What I found most interesting, if you look closely, you can see where some arches used to be but now have eroded and gone. And likewise, you can see places where new arches are being born today; and other places where you can tell by the geology that there likely will be arches there in several (hundred) thousand more years. The only thing I didn't like was that to SEE any of the arches, you had to walk -- anywhere from 1/2 up to 3.5 miles. My body gave out before I saw them all.

I went to see one - called the Delicate Arch. (Don't worry, there's a photo in the album.) It was only 1/2 mile, but warned there was a 200-foot elevation change to get to the end of the trail. I walked and walked and walked, what seemed like forever, and wasn't going up much at all. Just a nagging, frustrating minor incline. I started thinking to myself, "I wish they'd just have you climb straight up 200 feet all at once and just get it over with." Sorry I thought that. Two twists in the trail later, and there it was. A 45-degree steep climb ahead of me. Be careful what you wish for!

But it's a magnificent park. I must go back when I have more time, more energy, and more water.

Then I headed WAY down the road toward my next stop. But as I rode north out of Moab, I knew I'd be needing gas sometime soon -- like within the next 100 miles or so. So I started looking. And looking. And LOOKING. I knew Interstate 70 was just 20 miles ahead of me, and still no signs of civilization. And my GPS said the only gas was either way behind me (like 30 miles behind me in Moab) or about 100 miles east -- the wrong direction. But me being the smarter-than-a-GPS-kinda-guy, I knew there'd be gas at the Interstate. Wrong.

Down I-70 I go, westward, into what appeared to be an endless desert. (I think it really is, too.) Still no mention of gas ahead, either by signs or GPS database. I saw a town about 30 miles ahead, so pulled up a map of it on my GPS, and saw it had a couple hotels and a country club. I figured if it had that, it HAD to have a gas station.

Let me tell you, Garmin GPS units are fine; but the database is unbelievably worthless out here. When I got to that town, there were about 10 gas sations, a dozen fast food places (likewise, the GPS showed zero), plus lots of other civilization. Big sigh of relief. Got gas! And as I got back on the Interstate, about 5 miles past the last exit, there was a sign, "No services for the next 100 miles." Glad I stopped FIRST.

All along the way, it was one amazing scene after another. Spectacular formations and incredible vastness of nothing. Sometimes there'd be huge monoliths, cliffs, and exotic formations on one side of the road for as far as you could see, and nothing but flat desert on the other side of the road, also for as far as you could see. Enough to give you visual whiplash.

My next goal was a park I've never been to -- honestly, never even heard of it before I started researching this trip. It's called the Capitol Reef National Park. In this case, a "reef" is what the old prospectors called "a fold." And "a fold" is what the official name is for a continuous mountain ridge made of sandstone. This long ridge essentially cut off the east from the west in the area, and prospectors managed to find only one route through it ... and t hat's now a scenic highway -- a 20-mile one-way route. Absolutely awesome --- have I used that word too much yet? Spectacular scenes, changing from one mile to the next. I learned there are several very distinct types of sandstone (don't you dare ask me to name 'em), and they all look and behave differently. Together, they're incredible.

Then I headed about 100 miles further down the road to another National Park, one I've been to before -- Bryce Canyon National Park. I love the place, mostly for its geological formations. (Gosh, like what out in this area aren't geological formations? I can't describe it, so just look at the photos.

Along the way I saw numerous places where there were signs of past flash floods -- and recently. Dirt and dust washed across the roadway, though most of it had been either plowed off or blown off by the traffic. Still, in several spots, I could see the dust on the road, though not thick enough to hide the asphalt. But I quickly learned that this fine stuff was VERY slick. Even though you could barely see it in places, it was enough to cause the tires to "drift" if you hit it on any type of curve. Made me much more careful for the rest of that leg of the ride!

When I got to the park, it was about 5:30, and I was getting tired. So, I decided that if the park campground had showers, I'd stay here for the night. They did, so I found me a lovely little campsite and will stay here. Unfortunately, I got here a bit late to really see the formations, as the sun was getting too far down in the west. (All the formations lie to the east of the roads here.) I grabbed a few photos and will add them to the album, but they're not as amazing as they could have been. Just one more good reason for y'all to come here and see for yourselves.

What I didn't find out until later, though, was that the showers were coin operated. Costs $2 in quarters for a 10-minute shower. So I got change, went and got my shower stuff and some clean clothes, and headed to the shower room. Each shower stall has a metal box in it for the coins -- just like the coin mechanisms on coin-operated laundry machines. Stack 8 quarters into 8 slots, push all the way in, and pull all the way out. Okay, so I get into one of the stalls, and even before I laid down my gear, I noticed that the coin "plunger" was already pushed all the way in. Well, not wanting to get settled in a stall that didn't work, I checked that plunger to see if I could pull it out to put in my money. Nope. Wouldn't budge. So I thought maybe if I pushed it inward a little further, it'd click and come back out. I pushed it real hard, and sure enough, it went just one notch further in. WHOOOOSSSSSHHHHH! The water started running! Apparently someone had stuck their money into it, pushed it in (but not quite far enough to make it start), and left in frustration.

So now the water's running -- and on someone else's money! Damn. And I'm still standing here fully dressed with my hands full of shower stuff! Literally "with the meter running" on it's 10-minute timer, I hurridly got undressed. "Hurridly?" Hell, I couldn't have gotten undressed faster if there'd been sex involved. This was, after all, a matter of money. And I sure didn't want to waste my chance at getting someone else's two dollars' worth!

In the end, I was successful. It's amazing how fast you can take a shower when it costs essentially 20 cents a minute.

Since the park has FREE WiFi (and I know my frugality is showing through again), I'll stop at the park office in the morning and update the blog with this info and current pictures.

The next two days will be toward or at the Bonneville Salt Flats. I may make it there tomorrow night; I'll see how it goes. But either way, it's doubtful I'll update this again until Friday night or sometime Saturday. I know you can wait.

(Oh, by the way -- for all my fellow Harley bikers. I know it's sacreligious, and probably even a little bit illegal, but I've been using mid-grade gasoline this entire trip; not premium. And you know what difference it's made? None. Except my gas receipts have been smaller. Tim will probably now tell me I'm destroying my engine or I've voided my warranty; but a dime a gallon savings..... well, you know me.)

Thursday, August 21
Utah and Nevada

I know, I took pictures yesterday at Bryce Canyon and posted them to the photo album. Well, I did it again -- BUT WITH GOOD REASON! The photos I added today are from a seldom-seen area of the park called "Fairyland Canyon." The turn-off to it is actually on National Park property but just before you get to the entrance gate (or immediately after leaving the park if you're going the other way). The result of that -- very few people stop at it, or even hear about it. I stumbled across a reference to it only while in the park at their store, so stopped at the canyon on the way out. Some of the most spectacular views in the park. Period. Okay, judge for yourself.

Then it was on to a northwesterly route toward Bonneville.

Leaving Bryce Canyon, the next scenic area you go through is Red Canyon. It's amazingly beautiful in its own right. "Red" in the name should tell it all. Red mountains, red formations, red valleys -- it'll make you SEE red. I spent a lot of time there several years ago when I was here and took a lot of pictures then. This time, I pretty much just blew through the area. However, I did have to take a picture of one little tree. Let me explain.

When I was here several years ago (either 2 or three; time goes by...) I stopped and took a picture of this very tall formation -- probably 150-200 feet tall -- right next to the road. Nothing but "rock" or whatever these things are made of. Except for one thing. At the very top of it, a tiny little tree grew. All by itself. And it was so amazing to me. I called that photo "Perseverance." And when I rode by there yesterday, I noticed it was still there, and still thriving. Hasn't grown more than an inch or three in the past few years, but that it even survives speaks volumes of the little tyke. You can see the whole formation in the album....if you've a mind.

From there, I rode northwesterly across what I later found out are several areas called "Great Basins." These are areas that are large (and that's understating it) flat areas between mountain ranges that have no escape routes for water. Any precipitation flows to the lowest part where salty lakes develop, then dry out. Very barren lands; deserts, arid, nothingness.

In fact, just after I left the first little town at the edge of the first basin, I saw a road sign that said, "Nothing for the next 83 miles." And it wasn't kidding.

One interesting sight. I'm fairly convinced I saw a string of very old telegraph poles. Take a look at the album. These poles were spaced about 200 feet apart, made up of TWO poles (one pole sunk into the ground, and an above-ground pole bolted to it) using NON-machined lumber, two un-insulated wires running along them and connected to the poles with old glass insulators, and all stood about 20-25 feet tall. And they weren't in use, as many times there'd be sections missing, or only fragments of the base pole stuck up. And the lines went straight as an arrow for tens of miles across the nothingness. Anyway, in MY mind, they were telegraph poles from the OLD days.

And the roads out there went equally straight as arrows for 7-10 miles, then took a turn to go around some large hill or mountain, then proceeded another 7-10 miles straight. Boring? It got that way. But one thing really surprised me. I was about half-way across this basin (some 40+ miles) when I passed a bicyclist! Physical fitness is one thing, but biking across that desert in the 95-degree and 2%-humidity? The guy was nuts.

My last stop before Bonneville was at Great Basin National Park -- which is really in only ONE of the many great basins in the 4-state (or 5?) area. Not much there, really, and I wouldn't overly recommend going out of your way to GO there (and trust me, you have to go out of the way to get there). However, I did get an amazing photo of the basin from atop the mountain. The picture can't do it justice. Heck, even standing there was overwhelming. Just too vast to comprehend.

From there, it was a long, LONG ride to Bonneville. My first goal was to get gas. Fortunately, my trusty GPS said there was a station just 45 miles up the road. I had about 135 miles on my tank, so knew I could easily make another 45. Okay, so here's a quiz: When does 45 equal 70?

Answer: When you're talking miles and GPSs. One is how far the gas station is from the GPS (45 miles) and the other is how far it'll take you to actually GET TO IT while driving. I discovered (or remembered) that little trivia while I was WAY out of range of any stations behind me. When I realized there's no way I could make the distance under "normal" driving conditions, I slowed down and went the rest of the way riding 45-55 mph, coasting down any inclines I could find, and generally praying my butt off. Fortunately, all that worked, and I made it with several drops of gas to spare.

The next leg was a 110-mile straight road up to Wendover, across another arid desert. Hot, dry, windy -- honestly, it nearly wore me out.

Got to Wendover, Utah (and West Wendover, Nevada) at about 4:30. My first stop was a Burger King to get something to drink. While riding around the big city (one street), I saw a LOT of cars and trucks that had already been out to the Bonneville Salt Flats. They were all very easy to spot. Their wheels and wheel wells were covered with thick layers of white salt, and huge masses of salt hung from the bodies of their vehicles behind each wheel -- just like snow. So thick, the stuff would occasionally drop off in huge chunks. Trust me when I say I'm having second thoughts about taking my bike out onto those flats. Salt and a Harley do not play well together! I know from experience.

I went west from there to find a quiet, cool little campground in Nevada. It's really out of the way, too -- 10 miles from the nearest sign of civilization, and just sitting here on a mountainside for no apparent reason. As I was setting up my tent, I noticed that there were several "paths" worn down through the weeds nearby, and one spot right next to my site where a large mass of weeds had been crushed flat, and recently. I was wondering if it was deer. Or maybe (please tell me no) bears. A little later, my mind was put to rest. The paths and resting spots were made by cows. Yes, I'm sharing my campground with a herd of cows. Wanna make somethin' of it?

Tomorrow I'll make my way over to the Bonneville Salt Flats to watch a little of the "Speed Week 2008" land speed trials. Should be interesting, as I've already seen some of the cars that have run the track - and they're not what you'd see in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

Friday, August 22
Bonneville Salt Flats and elsewhere in Utah

Great day! Started off finding a McDonald's (and with WiFi) where my GPS said there were none. So got my stuff updated and checked E-mail early. Then a pleasant, cool drive over into Utah and onto Bonneville Salt Flats.

The "Salt Flats" is just what the name implies. It's FLAT, and it's made up of SALT -- regular old NaCl, table salt.

I got the to flats at about 11:00 a.m. (by the way, ALL the times I mention are "Alabama Time," just so there's no confusion -- right Harley crew?) Things were already hopping. There are three different courses, so folks use whichever one serves their purposes the best. Two are shorter 3-mile courses -- for slower speeds or for test runs. Then the long course is 7 miles long, used for runs of 3 or 5 miles. That's where the REAL speed demons dwell.

I've added a number of pictures to the photo album showing some of the vehicles and scenes at the track. A couple are worth special mention, though.

One is a custom car called "Blowfish," a very cool-looking vehicle. I knew when I saw it on the truck that it'd be fast; and the crew of about 8 people all had professional-looking team polo shirts, so there was obviously a lot of money backing the team. Sure enough. They were trying to beat the record for their class -- of 262 miles per hour. Their speed? 284. Yeah, I'd say they were fast.

But one other car held the lion's share of attention. Don't know the name of it...if it even has one. I'd have to look at the photos myself. It's a streamlined beauty designed and built by engineering students at the University of Ohio. And it's hydrogen powered. Not a hydrogen fuel cell, mind you, but by pure hydrogen (plus a little oxygen to make things interesting, I'm sure).

As it got to the starting line, I took up a position off to the side to watch it leave on its run. A guy walked up to me and started to talk to me about the car -- he obviously needed someone to brag to. His "younger brother" (who's 56 himself) was driving that car. So even though the guy just wanted his ego stroked, it worked out great for me, as I got some inside information about the car.

It seems the Discovery Channel (plus some other media outlets) have been covering the car's progress for the past year. He said the special would be out this fall....so I'll keep my eyes open. That explained all the camera crews hovering around the car at all times.

Seems a girl (hey, his term, not just mine) engineering student designed the car's body from the ground up. It was so groundbreaking and efficient, BMW hired her before graduation and whisked her off to their design center overseas.

The engine was built to generate 600 horsepower, and was doing amazing things last year. But one young boy (a guy, but I'll use "boy" just to be fair) said he had an idea that might "tweak" the horsepower a little. So he fiddled with the computer programming. The end result, his tweak increased it to 800 horsepower! That's where it was for today's run.

As of the beginning of last year's run, the record top speed for a vehicle of that class was 80 miles an hour. New technology, you know. They fired up this car and shattered the record by going 225. The guy standing with me said the kids hoped the car would hit 250 on today's run. At the end of the third mile, it had set a new record of 280 mph -- and was NOT full throttle. They were hoping to make another, faster run either this afternoon or tomorrow; but it was getting late, and I was ready to move on. So I don't know how they did. Well, I'm sure.

Other trivia? How about riding a Harley at 151 mph? Not me, thank you. And that wasn't a super-fast bike -- it really looked like something you'd see on the highway (well, almost). And the power of some of these beasts. One car just SOUNDED powerful - and was. I watched as he spun his wheels getting started. Still spinning his tires as he went up the track. As he shifted gears, more spinning. The engine torque just so great that he had trouble keeping traction. Even when he passed the 3-mile point, he was STILL overpowering the wheels. And he was running regular gasoline, too. I want one.

One interesting note. Because of the (insert correct word here) over the salt flats, when you looked WAY OUT, you saw this shimmering as if it were either water or a reflection of the mountains way off in the distance. What was exceptionally cool was when using binoculars, the cars would get about 1 1/2 miles down the track, then appeared to start "floating" up into the air above the track, slowly gaining altitude. They looked like planes taking off. Just a trick of the light, but it sure was cool. Wish I could have gotten a photo of it.

The Salt Flats. Flats, eh? If there was ever any wonder, I rode away some 30 miles down the Interstate before the elevation changed by A FOOT. Yes, I'd call 'em Flats.

After I left the flats, I headed for the Kennicott Copper Mine. I've read about it -- it's the largest open mine in the world, and is so huge it's one of only two manmade landmarks visible with the naked eye from the space shuttle (the other being the Great Wall of China). Unfortunately, I got to the gate to learn that as of last year, they don't allow motorcycles up the road to the mine -- had some fatal accidents that turned them off. But the guard told me of another route to the top of a mountain overlooking the mine. Fine by me -- but I was running out of gas -- yes, again. Still, I was already 18 miles from a gas station, and figured, "Hey, how far could it be?" Duh.

Anyway, I rode the road he told me about. It was a very narrow, terribly twisted, rock-littered road that rose up 2,329 feet in 6.7 miles, with some 154 turns along the way. In truth, the road was longer than that. I got to the 6.7 mile mark and the road turned to steep gravel. No thanks. So I was this close to getting to see the mine, but it didn't work out.

And being really, really low on fuel, I put the bike in neutral and coasted down the entire route. Sure was interesting. Sounded like I was riding a Honda!

Then I got gas, fought my way through the tail end of rush hour through Salt Lake City, and started looking for food and a campground. Found food, but no campgrounds; at least none that had an open spot. So I settled for a nice Motel 6 -- nice bed, private shower, WiFi, and a place to do my laundry. What else do I need? (Other than Shea, that is.)

(Norm, you'll be happy to know I put my night light back into my travel kit. And now, for the first time, I have a place to plug it in!)

Saturday, August 23
Wyoming and South Dakota

I got up at my leisure ... meaning I slept in. The bed felt too nice. Took my sweet time getting the bike packed up, then stopped for breakfast before doing any serious traveling.

Then I rode across Wyoming. That's it. Across Wyoming. Hey, ain't that enough? I mean, it ain't like trying to get across Texas, but it's no Rhode Island, either.

Only a couple interesting spots along the way. One was the town of Lost Springs, Wyoming. Population, 1. I think this makes it the smallest town in the country, except for an imaginary town in Iowa that has no residents at all. (But the property taxes are great!)

The other -- a small lake or pond. I don't know. Take a look at the photo album to see for yourself.

So in absence of anything substantial today, just some stray thoughts that entered my brain while riding (and riding and riding) across Wyoming.

This trip has given me the opportunity to finish the Dark Tower series of books by Stephen King. I read the first book in 1990; and he finally published the last book a couple years ago. There were 7 volumes in all, and it took Stephen King 20 years from start to finish - to finish. The first book was small. The rest were epics in themselves. This last book (audio version) came on 24 CDs -- about 30 hours of listening. In all, it's been a very interesting and involving story, and I never would have guessed how it turned out. I doubt King did, either.

Bike problem #2 of the trip: One of my auxiliary lights leaked water during some of the rain I encountered early on. Ended up shattering the bulb. So I finally got that replaced tonight. Now I can see all the deer that I'm about ready to hit.

Here's something that really pissed me off. I almost stopped and slugged this sucker. On a corner in a town somewhere in Wyoming (Yeah, I know, that doesn't narrow it down much, but do you really care what town it was?) this guy was standing with a sign. On one side of the sign it said something like; I'm a homeless vet, need food, I'm not lazy, I just need help, please give, God Bless You, and so on. Some 12 lines of writing! So far, okay. He's a freakin' loser, but that's his business. But to keep things lively, he also had a "message" on the other side of the sign, and he'd flip it back and forth every 30 seconds or so. I guess he assumed a bit of "humor" would help get him handouts. The message on the reverse side? "The good thing about dating homeless women is that you can drop them off anywhere." How freakin' insulting is that to all veterans? I wish I'd just shot him as I drove by.

I don't know how to explain these large metal contraptions they use to irrigate large fields, but I'm sure you've seen 'em. They're LONG large pipes suspended over the ground on rolling supports, and they spray water over the entire field as they roll along., Well, I saw the most awesome sight. Here's this absolutely perfectly lush green field with one of these systems spraying water -- a swath about 40 feet wide and several hundred yards long. And right at the edge of this "artificial rain" that was glistening in the sunlight -- mom and dad antelope, both standing just out of water's reach, watching, while their two baby antelope ran, romped, and played in the water. It was absolutely priceless. Sorry, no picture. I was afraid if I'd stopped, it have spooked them, since they were very close to the road. You'll just have to imagine....

So far, 4,600 miles on the trip. Geez, am I there yet?

Hey, Steve. Was that you that passed me this morning on I-80? It looked exactly like your bike, and the guy was driving as fast as you normally do. But I couldn't see the guy's face, since -- well -- he was driving as fast as you normally do!

Found a campsite just inside South Dakota - Wind Cave National Park. Never been here, so don't know what's here to see - if anything. But it's connected to Custer State Park, which will be my next BRIEF stop tomorrow.

I'm running way behind, and my brother asked if I could be in Waseca by Monday afternoon. So I'm cutting a lot of my planned stops from the route. Nothing major, just stuff that sounded interesting. I'll make it. Besides, my butt's getting tired of the seat again. How long have I been in that saddle so far? I don't know. My GPS actually keeps track of route information like that, but it only goes up to 99 hours, and it's long since gone past that. It now just blinks "12:00" at me.

Sunday, August 24
South Dakota

I left the campground by way of Custer State Park. Been here before, and it's beautiful. Lots of wildlife, too, from what I'd seen before. But I was NOT prepared for all the wildlife I saw on this trip. At first it was deer -- even more than I'd seen last night, and that's a lot.

Then the buffalo. Last time I was here, I saw ONE. This time, I never saw less than 3 in a spot. In one herd, there must've been about 50! And while they were minding their business in a large open field, they LEFT their "business" in large clumps on the road. Felt like I was riding some kind of obstacle course -- which, duh, I was.

Then the antelope. Lots of 'em. And they weren't shy at all about being on the road, blocking your way while staring you in the eye, or making themselves photo objects.

Several times I saw something that was amazing. It was as if some huge invisible tree had dropped thousands of large leaves on the ground, and some strong gusty wind which you couldn't feel was blowing them around in swirls on the ground in front of me. They weren't leaves. They were prairie dogs. Hundreds. And when they heard and saw me coming, they'd all scurry for the correct holes in the ground, leaving a few "up top" to stand as guards. Hey, maybe this is where the term "guard dogs" came from!

Overall, a wonderful ride through the parks. Then it was onto the open road across South Dakota.

I made a swing through the Badlands, of course. Couldn't help myself. Y'all have seen it before, so I won't bore you with too many photos, I promise. But I'll add a few just to show I WAS there.

While on a remote road in the Badlands, I stopped at an outhouse -- a "pit" variety. Thanks to an odd combination of the design of the place and the prevailing winds of the day, when you sat down, it ... well, let's say it blew your skirt up! Imagine that -- getting a blow job in the Badlands.

I stopped for some breakfast in Rapid City. When I ordered a Coke, the gal asked me, "What size would you like your pop; large, medium or small." It's not too often you hear folks use the term "pop" for soda or coke, and I didn't think I was in the right part of the country for that. Guess I was....or she was an immigrant.

Then it was on the road again. I stopped in Mitchell for several reasons: gas, Taco John's! (which also translates into gas), and to see the Corn Palace. "Check" on the first two. Failed on the latter. There seems to be some kind of huge carnival going on right down main street and in front of the palace, so I've decided to avoid the crowd and just press on toward a campground somewhere in eastern South Dakota. That puts me in "striking distance" of Waseca tomorrow. Yippee -- back on schedule!

With luck I'll find a WiFi connection somewhere tonight and can get this updated before I head into Minnesota. Once I get to Waseca, it's doubtful you'll see any updates ... at least until I get to Milwaukee! (I heard that. Stop cheering.)

*** Oh, wow. I can't believe it. Taco John's has a wireless connection -- and it's open. I'll TAKE IT! Updating now.***

Monday, August 25
South Dakota and Minnesota - into Waseca

First and foremost -- AHHHH. Taco John's for breakfast again. And THIS time I also got me a Churro!!! Mmmmmmmmm. Breakfast of champions -- and ugly old bikers.

Then, onward to Minnesota. Along the way, I stopped to see a couple windmills. Yes, they're very much alive and well throughout the country. But this one was special. Actually, not just one, but many. A farmer in rural southeastern Minnesota has an interesting "hobby" of collecting and displaying windmills from around the world. (Hey, somebody's gotta do it!) So I made a little side trip to see what he had to offer. Check the photo album if you care.

Then the rest of the way was a blur -- Interstates and a few local roads. Got to Waseca and met up with Norm & Ive. It's been SO long since we've been together -- seems like almost a whole month has gone by.

The big success story was that I was able to fix Norm's little computer glitch, so now I can sleep well and feel good about leaving on Wednesday. Now all I have left to do is help our friend John set up a bluetooth connection between his phone and his new car, and teach him how to use the GPS built into it. Okay, that could take most of tomorrow, but it'll be fun.

All for THIS episode..... (almost)

. . . .

(From the "Forgotten Memories" department: I stopped at a little "country" convenience gas station in a small town on evening. I went inside. As I entered the door, I was set back just a little bit. Standing there at the counter was a "couple" (I know, I'm assuming that). Man and woman in their late 40s; but it was hard to tell, as they both looked like they'd been ridden hard and put away wet for many, many years. The woman -- well, she could have been attractive if it weren't for her straggly, mangled hair. And the dirt and warts on her face, the bones showing through her skin, shabby clothes and all those missing teeth. And the guy; well, if you've seen the movie Deliverance, you've seen him and his kin-folk. The two were there to buy their (and again I assume) nightly supply of beer and smokes.

Now, so far, that didn't bother me much, and wouldn't have attracted my attention at all. What did attract my attention is that they were standing very close together. Both staring straight ahead. And her hand was resting firmly on his crotch. And I probably would have stopped after my "on second thought" after seeing that; but she was FONDLING him! Now that was more than a bit, shall we say, unsettling.

But then again, I know I'm being too quick to judge. After all, for all I know, he could have been her brother.)

Tuesday, August 26
Waseca (and Minneapolis), Minnesota

(Sorry. No new photos today.)

Another relaxing day in my old hometown of Waseca. We started off with a great breakfast at --- need you ask --- Taco John's. Both Ive and Norm agreed that this is probably the best-kept breakfast secret around. After that kind of food in the morning, the sun shown just a wee bit brighter.

Then I spent several hours working with our house host, John, with his new car. He bought a new Toyota Prius, which is more like a moving computer than anything else. Every "bell and whistle" you can think of in terms of electronics. And John LOVES electronic gadgets. Doesn't know how to make 'em work, but loves 'em. So I was called upon to configure their two cell phones to work with the car's Bluetooth-enabled navigation system, upload their address books, and teach John how to use it all. Then it was on to lessons on using the GPS system; which, for a built-in car system, was pretty impressive. I know he learned a lot; now I just hope he remembers it long enough to put it to use.

Before we headed out of town again, Norm (who'd been out walking earlier) said he wanted to take us for a little surprise trip -- a "nature" adventure. So we drove out to a small park around one of the lakes here in town. There, up in the huge oak trees, were perhaps thousands of Monarch butterflies. Apparently on their way somewhere, and were resting in the sunlight. Beautiful sight -- and fun, since they'd occasionally drop off their leaf-perches and flutter around us! Cool. (Unfortunately, since it was a "surprise trip," I didn't get a chance to take my camera. And since my brother's as cheap as I am, we didn't make a special trip back to get any pictures. So you can blame him.)

Finally, we headed to Minneapolis (about 60 miles north) so Ive could attend a "Defensive Driving Course." Long story, but she tried to make it through a light in Arizona, and got caught on camera on the red light -- by 0.15 seconds. But that was enough for a ticket; and going to the course was a way to get out of having this on her driving record. So for the 4 1/2 hours she was "back in school," Norm and I had dinner at a quaint (which does not translate into "good") Chinese restaurant. Then we headed for a local mall where we walked a bit and sat a lot. Had a great time just chatting.

We got home by midnight, and were READY for bed!

Wednesday, August 27
Minnesota and Wisconsin

I knew I was gonna be in trouble when I opened my eyes at a little after 8:00 a.m. and it wasn't very sunny outside. When I opened the door, I saw, smelled, and felt the rain. Drat. Being about 6 hours from Milwaukee, that didn't excite me much. After getting the bike packed up, I came back inside to check the weather, and was surprised to see that the forecast was for this rain system to stop just the other side of Rochester -- after about 2 hours of riding. So I was reluctantly and cautiously hopeful.

I got all "rain geared up" and headed out. And while it got colder as I headed east (enough that I got my heated gear on and fired up), I NEVER saw so much as a drop of rain. Nice.

Made it to the campground about when I wanted to -- early enough to get settled and relax a bit. Since the place is so large, everyone gets a personal "escort" (via golf carts) to each individual campsite.

I feel very fortunate. My site is right between the "draw horse barn" and the "warm-up riding pen." While that may not sound pleasant, it's perfect. There's a sliver of grass just wide enough for a single row of camp sites, with nobody on the east or west sides of us. And the only "neighbors" we have are the 15 or so campers on the strip. So it'll be nice and quiet -- and relatively secure.

I've already sampled the fine cuisine here -- it looks like the food area at any State Fair. I had a a nice fresh corn dog. (That Nut Goodie bar I had for breakfast just didn't last that long!) I'll head back shortly and sample some other junk foods. Then the concert tonight starts in two hours -- the "big name" for the entire event here at the County Fairgrounds is tonight's headliner -- Lynyrd Skynyrd. I KNOW y'all have heard of him. I'd remind you of some of his greatest smash hits ..... but I honestly don't know any.

Anyway, over the next few days I'll add some random photos as I take them at the HOG and Harley events. With FREE WiFi at the campground, I'll try to do a better job of staying "current" with my report.

Now, off to find food and the showers.

Thursday, August 28
Milwaukee (and surrounding areas)

Well, last night was interesting. The "big name" band was that Lynyrd Skynyrd dude and his band. "Sweet Home Alabama" is apparently one of his more famous/popular songs. But what do I know. Anyway, the stage was right here in the Fairgrounds park. Obviously, everyone camping here -- and that's a lot of folks were ready for the show (included in our camping package). But they also opened up the fairgrounds to the general public -- for a fee, of course. Well, the bikers swarmed in in droves for the concert. Lots of 'em. I'm not really good at estimating crowds, but I think if I guessed there were 80,000 people here, it'd be a very safe, very conservative estimate. It was mind-blowing to see so many people packed in front of a small stage. When they all raised their arms and waved, it looked like a Kansas wheat field.

And "the big show" kicked off at 8:30 last night. And Lynyrd and his band played and rocked and carried on until ... well .... 9:30. "An hour?" Yup. Then he wrapped it up. I can't believe he played for just an hour. If I cared, I'd be upset.

For the next couple hours, there was nothing but a constant roar as bikes fired up and left the campground -- and some of those that STAYED in the campground were fired up and doing "burn outs" or otherwise carrying on. I think this is as close to the "Sturgis experience" as I'll ever come......and as close as I ever want to come.

I was really looking forward to a shower when I got here last night. And that's where I headed after I updated my blog. But while I was typing away, they closed the showers. For some reason, they're only keeping them open until 7 p.m. each day. Puts a real crimp in my lifestyle; so now everyone will be fighting for shower time in the early morning hours. Maybe we can use the "buddy system" and double-up on showers, I'll try the women's showers and see if I can find any takers.

Bike Problem #3: Blew out a bulb in one of my driving lights. No big deal, and I've got a spare at the house. I'll wait until I get home to replace it. Not gonna buy another bulb here, as the darn things are about $30.

Tent Problem #1. As I was getting organized this morning, I heard a loud BANG on the tent. Sounded like someone hit one of the poles with a stick. I looked around inside and saw nothing. When I got outside, I noticed an odd protuberance up on the top -- seems one of the poles had snapped in half at a joint. Never dreamt it would do that. So I found a couple repair kits in town today and got it fixed. I'll have to replace the poles when I get home. They just don't make things like they used to. Then again, they used to make tent poles out of bamboo, so maybe it's a good thing!

My "next door neighbor" (a solo rider from Tacoma, Washington) and I went to the Harley Museum this morning. I had two tickets, he had none and wanted to go, so I got rid of my extra and it made his day. (If you didn't "score" a ticket through a random lottery like I did, you simply couldn't get in until after Labor Day.) We spent over 3 hours there; and could have spent 5-50 more, but both of us suffered from brain overload. What a magnificent museum! It'd be a very interesting trip even if you didn't like bikes!

Then I went down to a Buell Motorcycle plant (about 30 miles away) for a tour. Buell is a subsidiary of Harley, so those bikes are sorta cousins of the Hogs. Was interesting, too. Completely self-paced and self-guided; so I spend as much time as I felt like, just watching the folks assemble the bikes, test them, and so on. Very casual.

Then I went down to the Harley Owner's Group celebration party at "Miller Stadium" -- also known as the home of the Milwaukee Brewers. Huge stadium, massive grounds, and every square inch was covered with either a Harley motorcycle or a Harley rider/passenger looking for beer. It was a real madhouse. 150-200 thousand folks easily. Probably more. And you know how much I like crowds. Yuck. But I survived.

One of my main goals was to see the Fort Lauderdale Drill Team. And I did. They're pretty darned awesome. 12 bikes doing some very intricate maneuvers, and showing off a LOT of skill. After them, I left early, and came home to my quiet little tent; and got here JUST as it started raining. Perfect timing.

The rain's stopped, so maybe I can walk across the fairgrounds and get this updated to the Internet. The rains were supposed to stop completely by midnight tonight, and the weather is to be perfect for the rest of the celebration -- all the way through at least Monday. Nice. I won't complain! (Okay, I might still bitch about some aspect of the weather, but not about not raining.)

Friday, August 29
Milwaukee (the Harley 105th)

First day of the big Harley-Davidson 105th Anniversary celebration. Actually, of all the things going on at the "party," I don't have many things highlighted to DO there.

I took my time getting on the road. Checked E-mail and worked on the District Attorney's web site for a couple hours. (His site has been down for a couple months, so now that we've finally gotten the attention of the technical folks in the system, we've finally made progress.)

(I'm sitting in a McDonald's near the Juneau Avenue H-D offices, and there's a guy sitting next to me carrying on a very lively, LOUD conversation. People sure look funny when they're seemingly talking to themselves using a cell-phone headset to place a call. Of course, this guy doesn't have a cell phone, and nobody's listening. But then again, we can't all be rocket scientists.)

I finally headed out to the "party" location -- an area along the eastern edge of Milwaukee, right along the shoreline. I ended up having to park right next to a sign that said, "Welcome to Canada - Have Passports Ready." So it was a long, long walk down to the various activities.

I spent a couple hours watching the Harley-Davidson-sponsored Police Motorcycle competition. Motor cops from 26 states and 3 other countries were represented, riding through a very difficult maze of cones. Saw some extremely talented riders -- and some of them laid their bikes down in corners, and some even just lost control in nearly straight stretches. Actually, they were all awesome. I should be so good!

Then I walked downtown to meet with Jim & Sandra Penner, Molly and Calvin Nelson, and DJ Lucas; the two couples from Montgomery, and DJ is a former co-worker at Regions who now lives in Two Rivers, Wisconsin. Had a GREAT little get-together, and had a great Italian dinner at a local restaurant.

Then it was a fight back through some terrible traffic to get out of town and back to the campground, where I fell asleep somewhere between the bike and the tent. I guess someone shoved me into my tent while I slept, because that's where I woke up. I just wonder who undressed me. And I wonder who now has my shorts.

(Oh, geez. The guy went outside, and is now standing beside the building continuing his conversation. It's odd. He talks for a while like he's interrupting someone, then stops to listen to his imaginary friends talk for a couple minutes. Then he straightens them out with his insightful guidance. I want one of whatever he's been drinking.)

Saturday, August 30
Milwaukee

Another hot day. So I started off indoors. I'd called Sandy's (my niece) daughter Alice, who is going to school here in Milwaukee to see if she was going to watch the parade. But she never let me know if or where she'd be, so I didn't even bother going. I slept in instead. That was nice, too!

One of the benefits of my campsite is its proximity to some celebrities -- the Budweiser Clydesdale horses. Their custom tent and caretaker staff is about 100 yards from my tent; but the warm-up ring is about 100 feet, and their "wash stall" is about 30 feet. So we get a nice close-up view of these magnificent steeds. And, of course, we steeds gotta stay close to one another!

The technical wizards at the Courts system finally got the District Attorney's site set up (meaning the name was on the Internet, but no pages were loaded yet), and sent me the software and information I needed to connect. I managed to get into the network and load all the site's pages (some 9 MB worth of files) and got the site back up and running - first time since sometime in early August. YIPPEE!

I stopped off at the Pilgrim Road Powertrain Operations Plant, where they build most of the engines for Harleys. Had a nice, educational self-guided tour of the place. It's amazing what they do with raw materials, and how quickly they can take raw steel and churn it into a Harley engine.

I decided I'd make a stop at the Milwaukee Harley-Davidson dealership. My trusty GPS got me right to the place. However, one thing a GPS can't do well -- find a parking space. After riding around for a while and seeing the thousands of bikes parked so close together that I now know where baby scooters come from, I decided to forget the dealership and ride on,

I'd planned to stop tomorrow at the Juneau Avenue H-D buildings -- the real home of Harley-Davidson. But since I was already in the general area, I figured I'd kill some time there today. So I stopped, had a look around, and took pictures (of course). They have a replica of the original building the Harley and Davidson guys used to build their first motorcycles - 10 feet by 15 feet. Hard to imagine even parking a bike in that shed, much less building one in there!

Then it was on over to the celebration area. There was one place I didn't get to yesterday, so I made that my first (and only) stop at the party grounds. I was "on a schedule" at this point, and I needed to meet some of our Montgomery crew for dinner.

And dinner for the evening was at a Buca Di Beppo's "Immigrant Italian" restaurant - YUMMMMMMMM. Great food. And had great company. The Nelsons and Penners mentioned earlier, plus our wonderful H-D dealer, Tim Russom. We had a great time, too. Then again, whenever Sandra is around, you know to expect the unexpected. And Molly? ... well, she's fuel to the fire!

After dinner we all headed to the "grand finale" of the party, a concert by Bruce Springsteen and The E-Street Band. It was quite an event, too. Lots of noise, music, noise, beer, noise, people, noise, and more noise. I wish I'd remembered my earplugs like Tim did!

We were quite a ways back, but still had a good view of the show. Unfortunately, not close enough to get any good pictures. Believe it or not, but I took about 500 pictures at the concert. Not that the concert was that interesting, but I'm hoping that ONE will turn out! Too far away, too dark, and too much movement. But I tried.

Just after we found a spot to squat upon, I -- well -- I needed to pee. So I headed off to the nearby Port-a-potty. I made short work of it, and headed back to ..... well, to where the group HAD BEEN! While I was peeing, they moved! I finally found 'em again, but Hey, I can take a hint! They were kind enough to put up with me for a while longer, but they left the concert early. I'm sure it was because of me, and not because they were all feeling our age. But after they'd gone, I fixed 'em -- then I moved! They never did find me again. So there! And before I left for the tent, I stopped at one of those Port-a-potties again. This time, Bruce and his band was playing. Sitting in that light-weight contraption was interesting -- have you ever sat in a commode that felt like it had "Magic Fingers" rumbling beneath your behind? (I gotta tell ya, it was cool!)

I don't know how many people were at the concert, but the crowd looked about like the population of most small third-world countries....though probably less civilized. I was glad to get away from the mob, though.

(By The Way: My plan.... Tomorrow there's a band performing downtown I want to go see. They played a concert yesterday but I missed them. [Buca Di Beppo's with friends was a MUCH better idea.] So I'll go see them when they play again today. And that's about all I have on my agenda. It'll be too late to update the blog tonight when I get back. Then I'll head out tomorrow for home, and MAY just go non-stop to get home tomorrow night. My GPS says it's a 13-hour ride, which is easy enough. So IF I do that, I won't update this again until I get home. Just so you know....)

Sunday, August 31
Milwaukee

My last day in town. And very little on my agenda for the day.

I stopped first at a small H-D Dealership in nearby West Bend. To my surprise, they had a replacement cruise control knob for my bike -- a part that no other dealership where I've stopped has had. So I got that replaced, and it feels odd now! I got used to the stabbing pain of that brass pin digging into my finger every time I changed the cruise setting.

To kill some time, I took a little ride through the local countryside. Beautiful country; but no pictures. I know you're thrilled. I also stopped at the H-D Dealership in Milwaukee and took a few photos -- mostly of the GIRLS. Yes, THIS is where the good-lookin' young gals have been hiding. NOW I find out.

Then it was on to the ONE "to do" item today. The band. I hope you won't think less of me (yeah, right -- like that's even possible), but the group is called Blue Oyster Cult. Yes, strange name. Hard rock music, for lack of a better description. And I wanted to see them for only one song that they sing -- in fact, it's the only song they sing that I care for at all. And needless to say, they sang that song LAST. So I suffered through 90 minutes of chest-pounding, bass-thumping, ear-splitting, headache- and nausea-inducing percussive noise just to hear that song. Of course, the crowd went wild. Me -- I not only enjoyed it, but managed to video record it. Yippee.

Then I came back to the campground for an early shower -- and I FINALLY found out that one of the four trailers that house the showers have LARGE showers. One trailer has showers that are slightly larger than George Bush's head, with almost no "dressing area" at all. The other two trailers are larger, but still you can't put both hands on your hips without doing serious damage to your elbows --and the walls. But the fourth trailer -- the showers are about twice as large -- as large as in some motels. NOW I find out. Anyway, I feel fresh all over my body.

I'll pack up most of my gear tonight, and be ready to hit the road first thing in the morning. IF I go straight through to Alabama tomorrow, I should only have about 3-4 hours of riding in the rains -- the effects of Tropical Storm or Hurricane Gustav, whatever he is now. But this won't be the first hurricane that's greeted me when returning from a trip; I think this is the fourth time. Hey, it'll finally get some of the bugs and clumps of dirt off the bike.

Overall, I think I can safely say that a very large percentage of Harley riders who were here at the celebrations fall into one or more of several categories: inexperienced, rude, reckless (even when they're sober), discourteous, self-centered, and "show-off-ish" (meaning LOUD!). I wonder if some of these folks ever ride their Harleys anywhere but to rallies so (they think) they look cool. Doesn't fool me, though. Wish they'd stayed home.

Monday, September 1
Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Alabama
(a/k/a, Campground to HOME!)

Got up at an early hour and decided to make a run for the house. My GPS said it'd take 12 1/2 hours to go that 856 miles, and it's always a little conservative. But I figured I could possibly be home by 10 p.m. And since it'd save me $6 in campground fees ... well, you know. It ended up taking me exactly 13 hours, and I got home at just after 8 p.m. That gave me time to unpack and relax before I dove into my own bed!

Overall, a nice ride, but long and sometimes boring. It was nice to get back to some serious Interstate riding -- gas stations, rest areas, limited cross traffic. My kind of riding! Just before I got into Kentucky, the traffic started picking up very significantly. I thought it was the Lexington crowd. Wrong. The traffic was pretty heavy (and some very aggressive drivers) for the rest of the way home. Kept me on my toes.

At one point I saw a motorcycle sitting along the side of the Interstate ahead of me, so I moved over and stopped next to him. He and passenger were sitting on the bike. The guy was looking down at the handlebars and dashboard -- I almost had to throw something at him to get his attention. I asked if everything was okay. This redneck said, buried somewhere in about 10 fairly incomprehensible strings of words, that he was just trying to figure out how to make all them darn buttons work, and that he'd stopped to figure out how to get the radio station he wanted. What a nimrod.

I got into only a little rain - about 2 miles worth somewhere in northern Tennessee. It was just enough to get the bike wet, and start washing off some of the grime, dust, dirt, and dead bugs. As I was going trough this sprinkle, I looked down and saw a large "trickle" of water washing up over the top of the tank. It looked like a one-inch-tall wave of mud, heading right for my crotch. Thankfully the rain was short, and the "wave" stopped before it did any serious damage.

I was surprised (and delighted) to see that Hurricane Gustav wasn't dumping copious amounts of rain on the northern parts of Alabama when I got down this way. Close to Prattville the streets were still wet, but I didn't get any rain from him.

And, of course, it was nice to get back to my own shower. Now, the showers at the campground were okay -- at least they had hot and cold running water. You'd turn 'em on, and they'd be cold. Then they'd suddenly get hot. Then turn cold. Then hot. Then cold. Then....... I'm not sure why, but I guess that kept people from complaining; they were too confused by the time they finished.

I tried to keep track of the "critters" I had to maneuver around while riding. These weren't the critters I SAW, but those on the road that I had to actively steer around. Let's see. They included: deer (duh, lots of them); two herds of cows, a red fox (not Redd Foxx - had it been that slimy urchin, I'd have run the vile little creep over); wild turkey; peacocks, both male and female, and one gal with 6 babies chasing behind; tumbleweed (hey, my Big Sister would count it!); chipmunks, squirrels, antelope, prairie dogs and other little critters; and wild stallions.

Overall, the trip was 7,060 miles. And now, my shower and my bed beckon.

Stay tuned for my next adventure ... coming on September 18 when we head back to Helen, Georgia.

.....